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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29720970">sink like stones</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spheeris1/pseuds/spheeris1'>spheeris1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Orange is the New Black</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheating, F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:54:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,399</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29720970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spheeris1/pseuds/spheeris1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>AU // Piper POV // unfinished &amp; recently found // "They met at Smith, opposites in a dorm room, but they fell into a rapport of sorts; Sylvie dares and prods where Piper snarks and steps back and this is how some friendships are created."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex/Sylvia, Piper &amp; Sylvia, Piper Chapman/Alex Vause</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>sink like stones</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>/ / /</p>
<p>They met at Smith, opposites in a dorm room, but they fell into a rapport of sorts; Sylvie dares and prods where Piper snarks and steps back and this is how some friendships are created.</p>
<p>“I know you go out with... What's her name again?”<br/>“Polly.”<br/>“Right, you go out with her all the damn time... C'mon, Piper, would it kill you to hang around some different people?”<br/>“Different wasted people, you mean...?”</p>
<p>Sylvie grins big and nods her head, changing out of one pair of jeans into another.</p>
<p>“Fine, fine. Whatever. You owe me, like, five shots for dragging me to your stupid party in the city.”</p>
<p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Piper realizes, somewhere along the way, that Sylvie is on the make tonight. Her eyes sparkle as they glance around this crowded, slightly pot-smoke filled loft, and Piper laughs to herself to see Sylvie so determined because the woman is not like that generally-speaking.<p>Sylvie meanders her way into all things. Usually.</p>
<p>“I'm gonna hit the make-shift bar, you want anything?”</p>
<p>But Piper is just waved off, Sylvie on a mission as she continues to scan the crush of bodies for someone, and so Piper slips through the cracks of this party and sighs in relief once alcohol is in sight.</p>
<p>She is weighing the options – there's actually a bottle of wine, unopened, behind the rows of cheap beer and silly florescent-green liquids claiming to be 'apple-flavored' – but before she can put all others aside for a nice plastic cup of barbera, a hand is grabbing the bottle and lifting it up and away.</p>
<p>“Wait, don't take that!”</p>
<p>And then Piper is looking into an amused pair of green eyes.</p>
<p>“Why not? You mean you want some of this instead of...,” and those green eyes, which happen to be on a rather attractive face – something Piper notices after a breath and a slow blink – look over the table with disdain, “...Keystone or Bud Light?”</p>
<p>The eyes are back on Piper now, back to being amused or maybe they never stopped being amused, and Piper doesn't even know why she feels like smiling but she is doing just that – smiling at some woman she doesn't even know, smiling at some woman holding a bottle of wine while some dumb party goes on around them.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I want some of that instead.”</p>
<p>The woman smiles slowly in return and Piper feels a hot fluttering sensation deep down in her gut at the way those lips curve and curl – so confident, a bit intrigued – and then the woman steps closer, shifting into Piper's personal space with ease.</p>
<p>“Want to sneak up to the roof with me and drink until this bottle is empty?”</p>
<p>Piper is about to say 'yes', not a single second of hesitation to be found on her tongue, but suddenly Sylvie is there; Sylvie is there and she is fucking beaming and all that light is trained on--</p>
<p>“Alex, hey!”</p>
<p>--and Piper thinks to herself, <i>goddamn it</i>.</p>
<p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Alex Vause.<p>Once the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, Sylvie cannot shut up about the woman. </p>
<p>
  <i>Alex doesn't go to a college but she's really smart. Alex has money, maybe she's got well-off parents. Alex can really hold her drink, you should have seen her last night. Alex looks good in everything and I mean everything. Alex's voice is orgasmic, don't you think?</i>
</p>
<p>Alex, Alex, Alex – the constant topic.</p>
<p>And on the outside, Piper is politely interested in Sylvie's smitten ramblings.</p>
<p>And on the inside, Piper is bouncing between wanting to plug her ears so that she doesn't have to hear another word about Alex Vause and wanting to push Sylvie out a window so that the details of Alex Vause are Piper's to find out.</p>
<p>“I hate to be that person, Piper, but is there any chance you could be out of here tonight?”</p>
<p>Piper looks up from the several books she has open on her bed, brow furrowing in a moment of genuine confusion that soon melts away at the expression on Sylvie's face.</p>
<p>“No, Sylvie... You know I've got that exam tomorrow morning, I need to study my ass off just to pass it--”<br/>“You could hang out with Polly, couldn't you?”<br/>“Sylvie--”<br/>“Piper, look, Alex is finally coming over here and this could be, you know, my chance to--”</p>
<p>Piper holds up both of her hands, this conversation going to a place she would really rather it not go, and maybe she should be more understanding or nicer or not so fucking jealous, but Piper isn't in the mood to help out with Sylvie's seduction plans.</p>
<p>“I'm staying right here tonight, Sylvie.”</p>
<p>They glare at each other for endless seconds before Sylvie storms off, slamming the door, and Piper almost hates herself for how satisfied she feels right now.</p>
<p>Almost, but not quite.</p>
<p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Alex is being nosy, asking what topic Piper is writing about – the philosophies of Kierkegaard and how well they translate into the 21st century – and then they are debating theories and Piper ends up getting just a bit petulant and Alex laughs out loud about that, a rich and lovely sound that echoes within Piper's ears, and, honestly, how can someone's laugh be that fucking attractive?<p>And Piper is angry, in a buried-beneath-her-proper-upbringing sort of way, because Alex isn't supposed to be here – in her dorm room, without Sylvie – but the weekend trip to Boston is on temporary hold due to some asshole at Sylvie's job not showing up to cover the woman's shift and so now Alex is here, waiting for that girlfriend, and she is bugging Piper with her laughter, with her grins, with her stupidly gorgeous self.</p>
<p>“Right. Time for a study break.”<br/>“I'm not studying. I am trying to write a paper and you keep interrupting me.”<br/>“You know what I mean, Piper.”</p>
<p>And Alex pulls her up and she keeps a light hold onto Piper's hand as she digs around a stack of cd's by the stereo, mocking most of them until she finds something suitable, but Piper is simply staring at where their fingers meet, at where the lines of their palms now merge, at the shock of pale skin presently leaving a mark of longing upon Piper's flesh.</p>
<p>And it's not Piper's cd, so it must be Sylvie's, even though she's never heard Sylvie play it in all this time, but it doesn't matter who owns the damn thing because The Rolling Stones are playing loud and clear and Alex is swaying from side to side and she is making Piper do the same – a slow, shuffling thing that soon loses its inhibitions – and Alex is singing along (<i>“...it's the honky tonk women, they give me, give me, give me the honky tonk blues...”</i>), singing and sliding closer, close enough so that every word that slips past Alex's mouth brushes softly against Piper's cheek.</p>
<p>And Piper has never wanted to kiss someone as much as she wants to kiss Alex Vause right now.</p>
<p>The song ends and Piper can feel the world tilting in their favor, there as Alex's eyes roam over Piper's face, and it would be so easy, so very very easy...</p>
<p>Of course, that's when Sylvie shows up, complaining about her job and rushing in to kiss Alex – the sloppy, flushed with affection kind of kiss that leaves a red lipstick stain on the cheek –  and Sylvie doesn't notice how near to one another they are, how Alex takes a deep, shuddering breath and how Piper clears her throat and looks at the floor, how guilty they are both acting and all they did was dance to a song...</p>
<p>...right?</p>
<p>But Alex isn't looking at her now and Sylvie is grabbing her bag, saying something to Piper about a party that's supposed to be happening tomorrow night and how Piper should go to it - <i>“You've got the place to yourself and if you get up to anything I want all the details...”</i> - and then they are out the door and Piper is left alone, alone with The Rolling Stones as they spin onward into another song, alone with what was about to happen before Sylvie came into the room.</p>
<p>“Fucking hell...” </p>
<p>And Piper's voice is nothing more than a sigh that only she can hear.</p>
<p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div><i>You are not this person. This is not who you are.</i><p>But Piper watches them move around the room – Sylvie smiling at someone, laughing and leaning into Alex's side like she was born to be there – and Piper drinks a little bit more, a little more than she should, and Piper wishes, for the millionth time, that the ground would split beneath her feet and swallow her up.</p>
<p>
  <i>You are not this person.</i>
</p>
<p>Piper isn't sure just how much alcohol she has consumed at this point, she lost count when she looked over and saw Sylvie and Alex making out as if the damn world was about to end and they'd run out of time to lock lips.</p>
<p>She called Polly, begged the girl to join her, but Polly is dating some guy – Pete from New Zealand or Australia or somewhere – and she blows Piper off, to which Piper calls her a 'stupid bitch' and hangs up on her. And she downs another semi-tepid beer, hating the taste but liking the after-effects, and that's when some guy starts talking to her and Piper thinks to herself, why not?</p>
<p>
  <i>This is not who you are.</i>
</p>
<p>Piper and this guy dance – he is shit at it, really, but Piper just drapes herself on him and he sure as fuck doesn't seem to mind – and every once in a while, Piper catches sight of Alex; Alex with Sylvie, the two of them laughing about something, or Alex on her own, slamming a shot back followed with a shake of that black-haired head.</p>
<p>“You want another?” </p>
<p>The guy is talking loudly in her ear and she nods with a smile, kissing him all messy and overly-enthusiastic – which causes him to grin, brown eyes lighting up – and he promises to hurry but Piper has already stopped listening, has already started to dance by herself, bumping into other drunk and sweaty people, letting her head fall back and her eyes close.</p>
<p><i>You are not this person, though...</i> </p>
<p>“Having a good time?”</p>
<p>Piper knows that voice, knows how it likes to wind its way around her insides, and the hands that have found her waist do not belong to that guy she's been hanging out with tonight and the body that is pressed up against her back does not belong to that guy either.</p>
<p>“I'm having a fabulous time, Alex Vause...,” and Piper continues to move to the music, rolling her hips 'round and 'round, pushing back until the fingers at her waist instinctively grip a bit tighter, “...Are you having a fabulous time?”</p>
<p>A huff of laughter, wonderfully close to Piper's neck, and then she can feel Alex begin to move with her, sure and smooth and so fucking hot, and Piper's head is swimming because she is so drunk and she is so turned on, she's been so fucking turned on for weeks and weeks and this isn't helping but she is powerless to stop it.</p>
<p>“It's not so bad right now, Piper Chapman.”</p>
<p>
  <i>...no, this is not who you are...</i>
</p>
<p>And the transition from here to there, from a floor full of people to some dark, mostly quiet room, is not one that Piper will ever be able to truly recall. But it must have happened, there must have been a moment when they were dancing – Alex's palm sliding from the safety of clothed skin to the flat surface of Piper's stomach, Piper moaning and reaching up, tangling her fingers into Alex's hair – and suddenly dancing just wasn't enough.</p>
<p>None of it really matters, though.</p>
<p>Not Sylvie and her searching, love-sick eyes. Not some dumb guy with his hands full of beer. Not the music with bass so loud that it rattles the walls. Not this room with its bed that belongs to someone that neither of them know.</p>
<p>All that matters is that Alex is kissing Piper, kissing Piper and pulling at Piper's jeans and running her touches over every inch of Piper's skin; all that matters is that Piper is tumbling down and she is taking Alex with her, the two of them finally naked against one another as they slide and thrust, as they groan and sigh into each other's mouths, as they give in to the very thing they should be avoiding.</p>
<p>
  <i>...but that's just a lie you tell yourself, isn't it?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Piper does what she always does: she packs it away and she ignores it.<p>She was drunk. That's the story that sticks the best. She was drunk and if Alex hadn't walked over then it would have been that guy that Piper fucked in some person's bedroom. It could have been anyone that Piper ended up with, that's all there is to it.</p>
<p>And even if Piper thinks Alex is attractive, even if the sex was great – which it was, lack of sobriety notwithstanding – it was just a one time thing, it was just a case of getting something out of her system and now that it has happened... well, it never has to happen again.</p>
<p>
  <i>Right? Right.</i>
</p>
<p>And when she cannot shove it down to where the sun doesn't shine, Piper goes out and gets drunk with Polly and makes out with random guys – even a few random girls; Piper goes out until all hours and then spends the following mornings with her sunglasses on, feeling sick to her stomach and guilty as fuck whenever Sylvie rubs her back in a comforting way.</p>
<p>And maybe it is the guilt that is making her sick, along with far too much alcohol; maybe guilt is driving her to stay out late and stay in bed until Sylvie is gone for the day, to spend more time with Polly – to the annoyance of Pete, at least when he is not suggesting a threesome – and maybe guilt is infinitely worse than anything at all and Piper doesn't know how to combat it.</p>
<p>Well, that's not entirely true, of course, because Piper knows that the only way to get rid of guilt is to be honest...</p>
<p>...but being honest is the very last thing that Piper wants to be.</p>
<p>“Piper, babe... Is everything okay?”</p>
<p>Sylvie's voice is surprisingly sweet, or maybe it just sounds so sweet because Piper feels like such a jack-ass, such an absolute liar.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.”</p>
<p>And Sylvie does not look convinced but she makes Piper a mug of green tea (<i>“It'll give you some energy...”</i>) and she ruffles Piper's hair gently, bag slung over her shoulder as she heads out for some class or other, promising to be quiet when she comes back in and telling Piper to rest, to take a hot shower – Sylvie like a mother hen all of sudden and it's enough to almost make Piper want to weep out her sins.</p>
<p>Almost, but not quite.</p>
<p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Alex goes away for a week or more and Sylvie tries to pretend that she doesn't care that Alex isn't answering her calls, that Alex isn't returning those texts, but Piper can see it on the woman's face – forced nonchalance in the face of disappointment, a shrug of the shoulders that reveals just how weighted down by love Sylvie actually is.<p>“I just... I think I care more than she does and what if she's just off fucking other girls while I sit here, waiting, like some kind of idiot?”</p>
<p>And they've been drinking for a while once these words fall from Sylvie's slurred mouth and Piper knows to nod her head, to pour them both another round of cheap vodka, and Piper calls Alex all kinds of names because that's what you do in order to support someone, but Piper's inner voice keeps on chiming in – <i>you are those names, too, you are a complete dick, too</i> – and so Piper drinks even more just to shut that voice up.</p>
<p>“But I love her, you know? I love her...”</p>
<p>And a smooth, decadent image blooms behind Piper's eyes – Alex, pale and warm as Piper rolls them over, as their lips collide – and it is easy to see how someone could fall in love with Alex Vause; it is easy to see how someone could fuck over anyone, even a friend, for the sake of Alex Vause.</p>
<p>“Do you think I should say something to her?”</p>
<p>And Piper thinks that Alex is an asshole – for not calling her girlfriend back, for not returning those damn messages, for disappearing for days on end with no real explanation.</p>
<p>And Piper thinks that she is an asshole, too.</p>
<p>An asshole who sits here, topping off their drinks and wearing the face of a decent person, when – all the while – Piper aches to touch Alex again, Piper aches to taste those lips again...</p>
<p>...all the while, Piper is the asshole who still wants Alex Vause even as Sylvie slowly falls apart.</p>
<p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>They are having a fight when Piper comes in and she freezes somewhere between the hallway and the doorway, books heavy in her hands, and she wants to back out again – run away from all of this – but Sylvie looks over quick, eyes red-rimmed even as the rest of her face is just plain angry, and Alex...<p>...well, Piper cannot help but look at the woman, it's been more than a week since Piper has seen her after all, and Alex looks tired, looks annoyed, looks defeated right before her stare drifts towards the opposite side of the dorm room.</p>
<p>Piper mumbles some kind of apology, side-stepping the two of them and hurrying to her bedroom, shutting the door with a sigh.</p>
<p>The voices are lowered now and Piper tells herself to turn on some music, to open up those notebooks and work hard, to pretend that no one is outside of this room. But Sylvie has been on pins and needles for days, voicing her need to Piper - <i>“I want her to really want me, I want this to be a real relationship and not just fun...”</i> - and Piper has been the one to hear these wishes, to hear them and feel them cut into her skin with their telling.</p>
<p>Because they are both left yearning for Alex – stupidly, selfishly - and it sucks beyond belief.</p>
<p>There is a slam that echoes around the walls. There are endless moments of silence.</p>
<p>And Piper tells herself to stay right where she is, to not move at all, to keep on pretending – <i>they are not arguing, I never slept with her, none of this is happening</i> – but there is a soft knock upon her door and Piper tells herself to not answer it, to just keep on pretending, keep on ignoring all of this...</p>
<p>...but she is opening the door anyway and the air gets locked within her lungs when she sees Alex standing there instead of Sylvie.</p>
<p>“Hey.”</p>
<p>Alex's voice is rough, tentative, and Piper hates herself a bit for liking the way it sounds, for imagining that voice sliding over her ears in the middle of night.</p>
<p>“Hey.”<br/>“Sylvie took off and I was going to wait for a while, see if she returns...”<br/>“Right, okay.”</p>
<p>But they are just staring at each other now – Alex washed out with complications, Piper on tenterhooks of desire and despair – and they know they should look away, look away now and pray for secrets to stay hidden, and Piper thinks about the rules, laid out in dusty bibles that no one reads and propped up as virtues by parents who forever break them, and they've already crossed a line, they've already reached a point of no return and kept on going.</p>
<p>And Piper thinks that if there is hell, surely she'll be going there one day, because Sylvie's torment is so far from her mind right now.</p>
<p>There is a shift, the two of them leaning in. There is a brush of the lips – once, twice, and then again.</p>
<p>And Alex is cradling Piper's face, fingers cool and strong, and Piper is reeled in so effortlessly, her fists twisting the material of Alex's shirt, and they slant their mouths and they sink further into one another...</p>
<p>...oh, how they sink like stones.</p>
<p>/ / /</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was recently doing a purge of documents on my laptop and found this unfinished thing, decided to put it up anyway. Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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